Our Family Blog

www.nowIlaymedowntosleep.org

From March 5th, 2008:

Dear Friends and Family, Most of you do not know that on December 13th, 2007, I was approved to be an affiliated photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, a network of volunteer professional photographers who create portraits of terminally ill newborns at the family's request and free of charge. This morning, The Today Show profiled NILMDTS during it's 8:30 segment. (Healing the Heartbreak: The Power of Baby Photos). I would love for you to watch it. Kerry Sanders did a beautiful job portraying the work of one of our volunteers, Jessica Person, and the family of Baby Olivia.

The Today Show segment on You Tube: http://youtube.com/watch?v=MlKhrCORF8w

Affectionately,
Didi Leinweber
Volunteer Photographer - NILMDTS
www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

From April 21st, 2008:

Today (April 20th, Sunday) I shadowed a photographer doing a NILMDTS session for the first time, it was in the NICU of OHSU/Doernbechers. Miguel was born in November, at about 25 weeks gestation. He had to be resuscitated several times right after birth. He's been on life support ever since then and has never been fed from a bottle. When I met him this morning, he was 4 months old and weighed 7 pounds, a handsome boy. The family collectively made the decision this week to take him off of life support, after having photographs taken.

So, yesterday (Saturday) the family spent the day with him and said their goodbye's. When we arrived today at 11am, there were several shots taken of him with various nurses. These nurses clearly loved this baby boy that they've been caring for for over 4 months. The family chose to not be present when he was photographed, and also chose to not be present when he was taken off life support. Literally, they said their final goodbyes the day before. It's typical for NILMDTS photographers to need to wait until the baby has passed to take most of the photos because then all the tubes, tape, etc. can be removed and we can capture the baby's beauty behind all the medical interventions.

Around 11:30, the nurses gave Miguel his last dose of medicines including morphine, so he would be more comfortable when the tubes were removed. Twenty minutes later, they removed the tubes. I was surprised to see Miguel breathing on his own for several minutes. The nurses were incredibly emotional, he was definitely in loving arms when he passed. Three minutes after Noon today, Miguel passed away. The nurses took their turns saying goodbye and then the photographer and I set up to shoot. There's not much else I can really say about it. I watched, I helped, I learned, and then I held him and thanked him and said goodbye.

The nurses were upset but they were also thankful for the services provided to not only the family, but to them as well. It was clear that it was also a loss to them. I pretty much handled it like I thought I would. Went into photog-mode, and never got emotional. Maybe because it wasn't my loss, the pain wasn't meant for me to feel. Maybe because it was just my job to be trained to help other families in the future. It was just a very matter-of-fact type of situation, and I was already aware of what was going to happen. Maybe it would have been different if the mother was there and I saw her pain.

He was a handsome little boy that the family and nurses will have memories forever captured. Rest in peace, Miguel.

: ) Didi